Will Assaulting the Seller Help Closing?

More than two weeks ago, the seller (through his attorney) asked us if we'd be ready to close on Friday, September 23rd as scheduled.  We said "Yes".

We got the "clear to close" on Monday, September 19th, but then the seller said he needs at least 7 days notice to close.  So we said, "Fine, let's do Monday, September 26th".

We next were told the earliest the seller could close would be Monday, October 3rd.  Our rental lease ends on Sept 30th, so this is a problem.  Could we move our belongings into the garage ahead of close, we asked.

Well, we've waited five days and finally were told by the seller's attorney "Well, there might be space in the house for your belongings, but I will advise my client against allowing you to do so because of the liability".

Should we physically assault the seller and his attorney?  (Just a joke!  I bet a lawyer could make a big deal out of this).

Because the seller apparently doesn't care about screwing us over (by the way, he is moving in with his mother 15 miles away, so it isn't like he's waiting on his next home to be ready) we will be moving our belongings into a U-Haul truck on Friday night.  We'll then need to find a place to park it.  Pamela, Akina, and I will then find a dog friendly hotel or stay with a friend until Monday.  We'll go to closing on Monday, and depending on when we get the keys, move in Monday night or Tuesday morning.

Lessons Learned

• If you are up against a deadline (lease ending) leave yourself PLENTY of time.  Besides delays in getting the "clear to close" you could run into a slow moving seller.  Or, perhaps the seller is waiting on their own new house to be ready.
• Put strong penalties into your contract if closing gets delayed due to laziness.  Once you have received "clear to close' make sure there are monetary penalties in place if either side fails to move at a reasonable pace.
• Communicate often.  I would've thought when the seller asked if we'd be ready to close in 2 weeks, that'd be the signal to start the clean up and move out process.  Apparently not.

Addendum
I have a sneaking suspicion that the seller's attorney is behind all of this.  We'll get to closing and the seller will have no idea how much trouble he has caused us.  "Oh, I thought you wanted to close on October 4th.  I was ready to go a week ago!".  That's my hypothesis at the moment at least.